A much awaited vacation materialized last weekend. It was planned and organized by my better half who was all excited about the beaches and turtles of Cherating. On the other hand, I didn't expect much from this vacation. After all, we were travelling to a beach resort. I hate water and my wife can't swim. Practically, there wasn't much we could do.
Our trip started at 10.pm on 28th Sept from Lavender St. We got into the bus and our hopes of a peaceful night's journey were immediately shattered. We had a Singaporean family directly in front and I guess someone told them that there was a famine in Malaysia; they ate like there was no tomorrow. Then, there were people who felt the compulsive need to call up their folks on their mobile phones and give their location every ten minutes. The bus felt like a frickin mobile phone showroom with assorted ring tones going off every few minutes. The radio played loud Malay music all along the way. On hindsight, I gather that this might have been some sort of 'quick immersion' program to enable us to speak Malay the next morning, because at 4 am the next day, in a deserted bus station in Kuantan, we were desperately trying to find someone who understood English. We asked for the 'tourist information centre' and were directed to the toilet!
One of my friends who had been to Cherating earlier had given us a lot of information about the place. But he conveniently forgot to tell us that the bus reaches Kuantan at 4 am and most taxi drivers, who happen to be the only human beings around, do not speak English! Fortunately, we found one person who spoke English. We finally made it to our resort after an hour's drive on a deserted highway. I was half expecting our driver to pull up along the way and draw a knife.. fortunately for us, he turned out to be a good man. Shortly after we reached our room, both of us zonked out.
It was evening when we regained consciousness. After a quick breakfast/lunch, we set out to explore the beach in the resort's backyard. The beach was the only saving grace of this vacation. It was the most calm, silent sea that I have ever seen. The waves were so mild, it felt more like a large lake. No rocks, no boats and best of all, no stupid humans. Just blue water... my kind of place! I could spend my entire life on that beach.
On Saturday, we went on a river cruise. We were supposed to see wildlife on both sides of the river bank. "See deer, monkeys, snakes and otters" the brochure loudly proclaimed. After spending an hour on the small boat, moving at a snail's pace, straining to see any movement among the bushes on either side, things were getting a bit desperate. The guide was trying his best to divert the tourists' attention from the decaying smell of the black, stagnant river water by pointing out the smallest of animals. "Look, there goes a blue crab!" he shouted and the tourists let out a collective yawn. And then as if on cue, the animals made their appearances. First, we saw a small snake coiled up on a tree. He was a mangrove snake, a charming black fella with yellow stripes. Soon after, we saw a young monitor lizard soaking up a bit of the afternoon sun on a tree. Then, another snake who looked like a mobile zebra crossing. With that, our river cruise came to an end, not too exciting for me but fruitful nevertheless. I have found cobras in the most unlikely places in India- our car garage, wash basin, you name it; watching some small snake cross the river in front of me doesnt exactly get my adrenaline running.
After a mostly uneventful Sunday, we finally set out on our return journey. We learnt a lot of painful lessons that evening.
Lesson 1:- Never stand between a hungry man and his meal. Our friendly cabbie had been fasting the whole day and was due to break his fast at 7 pm. The hotel staff asked him to drop us off at Kuantan, almost 60 kms away at 5.30 pm. He was determined to do the 120 km return journey in 1.5 hours! Now we are talking of some adrenaline pumping action! Imagine bouncing around in the rear seat of a Proton car (which have very stiff suspensions, i must add) blazing away at 160 kmph on a single lane Malaysian highway. We remembered prayers that we had forgotten since primary school. We must have prayed to atleast half of the 300 million Hindu gods that evening.
Lesson 2: Always keep a calendar handy when you do reservations. My better half, in her enthusiasm, booked bus tickets for 30th Sept instead of 1st October. I was casually sipping on a mocha frappuccino at Starbucks, trying to while away some extra time when my wife took out the tickets in order to verify the departure time. I nearly choked on the coffee when she held out the tickets and I saw the date. We immediately rushed back to the bus stand and tried in vain to get two tickets for that night. We only managed to get tickets for the next morning.
We were cursing our luck at the hotel that night when I read a notice that was left on the table. The credit for cheering us up after the above mentioned fiasco must entirely be attributed to this piece of pink paper. I reproduce below the "exact" wording.
"
Room AmenitiesThe following amenities are for your convenience. Should you require any of these items as souvenirs, please refer to the price list below and contact the reception.
Water Jug RM 180.00
Mug RM 10.00
Tray RM 30.00
TV RM1800.00
Telephone RM 240.00
Dustbin RM 30.00
Ashtray RM 20.00
Bath Towel RM 30.00
Bed Spread RM 500.00
Bed Sheet RM 100.00
Blanket RM 300.00
Pillow RM 60.00
Pillow Case RM 120.00"
I was trying to imagine the frustration levels that could have forced the manager to print this notice. Boy, they must have dealt with some serious criminals before. Stealing TV and phones? Jeez. I decided that the notice itself would make a nice souvenir! :)
Our return journey was exciting as well. We took the first row, right behind the driver. This was a serious mistake on two counts. First, our driver was probably a Malaysian Idol hopeful. He kept crooning all the way, as if the radio wasn't enough. Second, I thought Indians highways were crazy. Imagine the same roadsense at double the speed, that's a Malaysian highway for you. After three near misses and one near full blown fight, our bus finally made it to the border.
At the Customs, a fellow traveller got detained. From my expert knowledge of Malay, built up from three days of non stop FM radio, I gathered from the driver that the tourist tried to bring something in and it was the wrong size. I don't know if it was a cigarette pack or a knife or his pet dog! Who cares? After wasting an hour waiting for this guy to turn up, we finally decided to leave without him. Thankfully, we reached Singapore in one piece but on an empty stomach , because the driver, in his enthusiasm to rehearse for the next season of Malaysian idol, had forgotten to stop for lunch!!
The trip had a fitting finale when I accidentally deleted all the photographs after uploading it to my laptop. That, ladies and gentlemen, was what we experienced on our first vacation since March 2005!
